As I may have told you a few times, in a few months I'll be off to University. I'm excited, but I'm also very scared. Scared of not being accepted in any of the Universities I'm considering, scared of staying behind to improve my grades. One more year in high school and a wasted year don't appeal to me at all. And it's not going to happen.
Two days ago I went with some friends to a couple of faculties, where we're considering spending the next three/four years. To be honest, I was extremely disappointed with "mine". A building that seemed it was in ruins, students telling me the course I want to study doesn't even exist, and two people showing their dislike for studying there. I obviously can't make my decision with two people's opinions, but the mix of it all left me very disappointed.
This faculty wasn't really my first choice. The first one I've ever considered requires a much higher average than the one I've got right now, thus my fear of not being accepted. And now that I'm considering another faculty, I'm even more scared. It seems that we can only be relaxed if our average is higher than 17 (on a scale of 1-20). What about the rest of us? "They should have studied more." Of course. Of course we should have.
I can say that I'm going to improve my average, that I'm going to study more or that I'll ace the national exams. It won't happen. It's too late. I don't care what happens, but I'm not staying behind. And don't tell me things like, "don't worry, you'll get in!", because I don't have the patience for that kind of thing. My optimist only goes so far, and when it exceeds, my realist side comes out. If I don't get in any of the four Universities I'm considering, I'll study post-production/editing, even though it's a huge mistake to study it when I live here, but at least I'll be doing something I love and I won't be seeing the train pass by me with all my colleagues and friends swopping off to Lisbon while I stay here watching the waves.
Sexy: Watching Sex and the City in the early hours of the night.
Unsexy: School in general, I just want it to be over.
103 days to the John Mayer concert.
What do you actually want to study?
ReplyDeleteI have faith in your situation, because hope and happiness can be found wherever you are comfortable with yourself and other people around you (: