New Notebook

Today I bought this notebook, it's from Claire's. I couldn't not buy it, who wouldn't love it at first sight? Plus, it was on sale! €4, wooo! I just think there's a tiny flaw, it doesn't have an Italian city. It should have Milan or, at least, Rome. Oh, well.

Here's my problem, though: what should I do on it? It has plain sheets of paper and I'm thinking of turning it into some sort of Scrapbook and collages. Like, with cutouts from magazines and such. Maybe something to do with traveling? What do you think? I have no idea but I really want to start doing something with it. Maybe just do it along the way. For example, having a great day, taking pictures and gluing the photos and quotes. And lyrics! Such variety. Help?

Sexy: Buying tickets for the Rock in Rio festival to see John Mayer, Miley Cyrus and McFly! Yes, they're coming too!

Unsexy: The Chile earthquake. All this destruction breaks my heart...

John Mayer: 82 days; Miley Cyrus: 90 days; U2: 216 days.

Bisou, bisou *

I'm Lorena...

(Photo found here)

... and I contradict myself a lot.

This is mostly coming from Ashley's blog post the other day. I read it and thought I was reading my own biography, it was strange. Anyway, I felt like doing something like she did because I have some things building up inside me and I just want to let it all out. Let myself out.

I'm mostly a happy person, I very rarely have any discussions/fights with people. Sometimes I talk about people behind their backs but it's nothing I wouldn't tell them in the face. But why should I? There's really no need to. Everyone has their opinion about everyone, whether it's a good or bad one.

I'm your average Jane. 5 foot 2 inches, dark blonde hair, light skin, green eyes. I've never been happy with the way my body looks, specifically my thighs, my belly, my hair and my nose. Whenever I try to exercise and eat a balanced meal, I end up at McDonald's and then I feel guilty. I've had braces and now my teeth are straight, but I still have a slight problem which I hate talking about and which still isn't resolved. And it's not going that well, too. There are days, though, when I look in the mirror and think, huh, not bad. I like those days. You have to like yourself before you like others, right? No? Well, it should be that way.

I love talking to people. About anything at all, the more subjects the better. I hate people who always talk about the same things, I lose interest. Oh, that's also a big flaw of mine. I lose interest in people and in things too easily. Well, I wouldn't say too easily. I just like to be adventurous and I want to feel like every day is a new day, where I can do new things and have new experiences. If someone can give me that feeling, I will love you. But, ah, love. Sometimes I think it's not for me. I've had one-night stands. I've betrayed. I've broken hearts. I've had my heart broken once, although maybe in a few years I won't think it was a heartbreak. That's what I do, I live things (I used to live life in a very dramatic way, but my drama queen days are over) and after some time I think, No, you didn't love him or No, it wasn't as bad as you pictured it. I have needs but, surprisingly enough, I have an enormous willpower too. I want to live a fairytale but when someone tells me they love me I back off. I don't know if I'm afraid of commitment or if it's some cosmic thing out there telling me, Don't go there, don't bother, it'll be useless. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

I hate people who say "I love you" very often or for no apparent reason. I think you should only use those three words during a special occasion or when you're saying goodbye. I'm not good with goodbyes. I hate having the house full one minute and the house empty the minute after. I hate the word "forever". I hate having the obligation to talk to someone every day. I like hugs and kisses, but if you get too close sometimes I want to punch you and get away from you. If you tell me something sweet one day I can smile, but if you repeat it again the next day, I can back off and feel uncomfortable and never want to talk to you again. I hate when people ask me if I'm okay just because I don't have a smile on my face. I have mood swings.

I spend way too much time on the Internet. It's my second home. I hate the word "lol" in lowercase letters. Pictures I find on Tumblr make me happy and make me thoughtful. Sometimes a Tumblr picture can influence my mood. A song can influence my mood. Miley Cyrus makes me happy. Very happy. Internet friends are important to me, and I would do anything just so I could spend some time with them, go shopping with them, go to the movies with them, be with them.

I want to model, and I think I would be pretty good if I didn't have the beforementioned complex. I want to write and travel the world, but I'd need company. Or I'd just get company wherever I'd go. Although I need people in my life, I love being at home. I love being alone. I need to be alone every day, or else I'll go insane. I hate when people text me or call me a lot, not realizing I want to be alone and don't want to talk to anyone (but, weirdly enough, I can't turn off my cellphone). If someone wants to be with me and I don't, I'll do anything and come up with anything so I can stay home and not be with them.

I want to grow up but I want to stay young. I want to do everything I plan to without needing to care about money. The future scares me. Nerdfighters and Nerdfighteria made my life better.

I love learning new things. I hate philosophy and philosophy teachers. I "fall in love" too easily. I'm very materialistic. I can't leave the house without makeup on.

I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I've smoked before. Sometimes I fantasize being in a Skins episode and doing drugs and smoking and having sex whenever I want to and not caring about anything. I don't know why, I just do.

I used to be insecure and care about what other people thought of me. My life used to be an open book. I've changed a lot. I don't care what other people think of me when I dance the Hoedown Throwdown in the middle of the street or during PE class. Fuck what other people think.

I don't have any talents. I can't play any instruments. I think I know how to write. I'm very insecure when it comes to my writing. I literally freak out when I make a mistake while I'm writing/talking English. I want to spend my life surrounded by english-speaking people in an english-speaking country. I can't remember a day where I haven't talked, spoken or read English. It's important to me.

Religion is useless and it fucks everything up. It only creates more problems. Every religion is a hypocrisy. That's what I think of religion, it's a synonym of hypocrisy. When people reference religion and say, God bless you, I feel very uncomfortable. Yes, people need something to believe in. I don't believe in God. I believe in the human race and in the great things it can do. At least I know they exist. I care about the world and about the people living in it. I'm in love with the whole damn world.

I want to become a vegetarian, but I love meat. I want to become a hippie and buy a VW T2 and only need money for gas and food. I want to skydive. I want to learn as much languages as I can so I can talk to as many people as I can. I'm an optimistic, but I very often turn into a realist. I'm indecisive.

Dresses. Blue. Red. Black. White. Eyeliner. Dogs. Airplanes. The beach. Swimming. Cold. Heat. Summer. Winter. Spring. Fall. Gelato. Mangos and strawberries. Being. Paris. New York. John Mayer. Mail. Dancing. Mini Coopers and VW Bugs. Churros. Milk. Coffee. Tea. French movies. Starbucks. Concerts and festivals. Small tattoos. Simplicity. Loving. Holding hands. Trains. Sleeping. Brownies. Chocolate. Long, hot showers. Blogs. Vlogs. Photographs. Spaghetti. Music. Magazines. Books. Nail polish. Hats. Leggings. Smiling.

This is me. Take it or leave it.

Sexy: Train rides with friends.

Unsexy: Drills roaring to life while doing a psychology test.

John Mayer: 85 days; Miley Cyrus: 93 days; U2: 219 days.

Bisou, bisou *

A united country

(Photo found here)

This is not big news for come countries out there, what happened in Madeira a few days ago. Intense rain, floods and mudslides brought this frightful sight. Just to think that underneath all that water, beneath that statue in the image, there's supposedly a roundabout... it's an image that I never thought I would see, not in my country (Madeira is, in case you don't know, an island 1000km away from the European continent, located in the mid Atlantic Ocean).

What surprises me the most, though, is the strength and solidarity of the Portuguese people. People who have lost their lives (42 until now), their homes, their belongings, people who left their homes with nothing but what they had on them, people who lost their shops and their merchandise, the situation doesn't matter, we're ready to help. Fundraising concerts are already being organized, telephone lines, and people right there in the field, getting to work, or simply giving comforting and helping words. And there is so much work to be done.

I'm proud to be Portuguese. I'm proud when I see someone giving directions to another person with a smile on their faces, I'm proud that when you leave a store you never leave it without saying and receiving a, Thank you, good afternoon!, I'm proud when someone starts talking to you on the street just to innocently fool with you and have a laugh. This is Portugal. These are the Portuguese. Friendly, fighters, ready to help. You can't demand much more from a country.

Sexy: I can't really think of anythings right now.

Unsexy: This whole Madeira situation.

86 days to the John Mayer concert; 94 days to the Miley Cyrus concert; 220 days to the U2 concert.

Bisou, bisou *

Joss Stone

(Photo found here)

On Monday, I went to the Joss Stone concert in Lisbon, one of my very favorite singers since I heard her first single back in 2003. The first time out of three where I finally got to watch my Joss live on stage. It was unbelievable and undescribable, but I'll try my best.

Everything on time, in comes the 22-year-old with black leather leggings and a short, tight, blue glittery dress, looking great from head to toe (or like my homegirl Tyra says, H2T). Young, free, liberated, soulful, beautiful, breezy, what more could you ask for? I love Joss even more, now. Her hippie style, hippie mind, hippie attitude. I love it all.

Her powerfulness astounded me, it was like I was listening to her for the very first time. The chills, the moments where I closed my eyes and thought I was in the most beautiful place in the world, the smiling (both hers and the audience's). It was a perfect night. One I'll most definitely repeat once she returns. I loved every second, the musicians, the backup singers, her performance in bare feet, the pauses she took to drink her tea (peace, love and a wee bit of something else to give it a kick?) and, after the encore (which was preceded by feet stumping and cheers), when she gave away white roses. Who does that? Only Joss. Does she do that in other countries as well or is it just us? Because it wasn't the first time. Either way, she's lovely. But I didn't manage to catch a rose. Eff. I was in the first row, though. First row, second row, whatever, I was extremely close.

I also saw a sign that a fan brought which said, You should do something with John Mayer. She definitely should.


"Fucking wicked. Peace and love!"

Sexy: Buying Joss' last two albums, which are amazing. Oh! And getting Ashley's letter. <3

Unsexy: Finding out that Joss stayed with some fans after most of the other people left. Fans that were WHERE I WAS. Fuck.

93 days to the John Mayer concert; 101 days to the Miley Cyrus concert; 227 days to the U2 concert. (I like this.)

Bisou, bisou *

Sent from Paris with Love

(Photo found here)

As all of you might know, I'm a Paris freak. The typical streets, the smell of fresh croissants in the morning, the bad coffee, the Eiffel Tower, the Louis Vuitton bags wherever you go, the old and exciting subway, the language, the history. I love it all.

Since my Portuguese blog is called "De Paris Com Amor", I thought I'd rename this one and simply translate it. It's much better than "alorena1" which, by the way, I hate. So don't worry, it's stil the same blog, still the same person, but the title is different and so is the layout. I wish I knew a bit more about HTML too, though, meh. But what do you think?

Sometimes we all need a little change.

Sexy: Knowing the new Joss Stone album by heart in less than a day.

Unsexy: Wanting to wear a dress for tonight but can't because it's pouring rain. Or maybe...

95 days to the John Mayer concert.

Bisou, bisou *

Valentine's Day

(Photo found here)

I've never paid that much attention to Valentine's Day. It's a day like any other and I don't really enjoy it. Maybe because I don't really have anyone who will make me a breakfast like the one above? Maybe.

As far as I remember, I've only been with someone on V-Day twice. And since I was younger than I am now, I look back and scoff at that fact and wish I had had no V-Day celebration instead of what I did have when I was with someone. Which was... pretty much nothing. I've never had a thoughtful Valentine's Day card, I've never had a proper date, even. No dinner and a movie for me. No red rose. Boo hoo.

I agree, V-Day is a commercialized "holiday" where you stress out because you don't know what to give your boo. And yes, I could also give that argument, I don't need a specific day to tell someone I love them or to give them a gift. Or, even, the other argument, I don't have no one to celebrate it with. I know. I agree. But a little breakfast would be nice.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Sexy: V-Day meaning a day spent in the bathtub and the Joss Stone concert tomorrow!

Unsexy: The feeling of something not being enough.

96 days to the John Mayer concert.

Bisou, bisou *

L'amour

~ L’amour, hum hum, j’en veux pas. Je préfère de temps de temps. Je préfère le goût du vent, le goût étrange et doux de la peau de mes amants. Mais l’amour, hum hum, pas vraiment. ~

"L'amour", Carla Bruni

A few weeks ago when I saw the movie (500) Days of Summer, I was delighted with this first lady's voice, who's featured in the soundtrack. I immediately searched for the song and I heard her entire first album (she has one in french, Quelqu'un M'a Dit, and one in english, No Promises) and I was sold. Her sweet and hoarse voice, her honest lyrics, some of them scarily true and descriptive, the relaxing melodies. I have no doubt that her first album, mostly sung in french but also in her native language, italian, is the most delicious one.


So, when I saw that Portuguese magazine Elle featured a report on her, I was overjoyed. The photographs with her husband, french president Nicolas Sarkozy, her classic and elegant looks and "politically chic" in front of Queen Elizabeth II and spanish Princess Letizia, for example, left me smiling and wanting more. What left me even more happy was the news that she's going to participate in Woody Allen's new movie and is going to launch a new album.


I feel proud that women like this one exist. Able to express their love for their sweetheart in public, but also able to go on and follow their dreams, never losing their responsibilites, and always with that chic and feminine factor. Definitely an example.


Sexy: Listening to Carla Bruni while it's raining.
Unsexy: Not being able to block the word "University" from my mind.


102 days to the John Mayer concert.

The future is knocking on the door

(Photo found here)

As I may have told you a few times, in a few months I'll be off to University. I'm excited, but I'm also very scared. Scared of not being accepted in any of the Universities I'm considering, scared of staying behind to improve my grades. One more year in high school and a wasted year don't appeal to me at all. And it's not going to happen.

Two days ago I went with some friends to a couple of faculties, where we're considering spending the next three/four years. To be honest, I was extremely disappointed with "mine". A building that seemed it was in ruins, students telling me the course I want to study doesn't even exist, and two people showing their dislike for studying there. I obviously can't make my decision with two people's opinions, but the mix of it all left me very disappointed.

This faculty wasn't really my first choice. The first one I've ever considered requires a much higher average than the one I've got right now, thus my fear of not being accepted. And now that I'm considering another faculty, I'm even more scared. It seems that we can only be relaxed if our average is higher than 17 (on a scale of 1-20). What about the rest of us? "They  should have studied more." Of course. Of course we should have.

I can say that I'm going to improve my average, that I'm going to study more or that I'll ace the national exams. It won't happen. It's too late. I don't care what happens, but I'm not staying behind. And don't tell me things like, "don't worry, you'll get in!", because I don't have the patience for that kind of thing. My optimist only goes so far, and when it exceeds, my realist side comes out. If I don't get in any of the four Universities I'm considering, I'll study post-production/editing, even though it's a huge mistake to study it when I live here, but at least I'll be doing something I love and I won't be seeing the train pass by me with all my colleagues and friends swopping off to Lisbon while I stay here watching the waves.

Sexy: Watching Sex and the City in the early hours of the night.

Unsexy: School in general, I just want it to be over.

103 days to the John Mayer concert.

A dream turned reality

(Photo found here)

So, remember yesterday when I was complaining about various things that happened to me in January, and how I wanted February to be better and bring something rather than tears and sadness? Someone heard my prayers.

John Mayer, my favorite artist of all time, is coming to Lisbon in the end of May to the Rock in Rio festival. I can't express the way I feel about knowing that. Wait, let me try:

OOOHHH MYYYY GOOOOD, I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOUUUUU!!!!!! *jumps up and down while crying*

Hmm. Well, that worked out quite nicely.

It was a very curious way, the way I found out. I was watching a TV show on my Mac when a friend of mine (fellow John Mayer lover) called me. I thought, "this is going to be good news". I answered the phone only to hear her almost crying and saying "Lorena, Lorena, you're not going to believe this!", and I already knew what she was going to say. I immediately opened my Gmail and saw an email from JohnMayer.com, and there it was. One of the happiest moments of my life.

We've already set everything up. We're missing school and going in the morning, and we're going to wait our asses in the burning sun until we get in, and we're going to run until we get to the front row. I can't wait!

- Ana

Sexy: John Mayer's Rolling Stone photoshoot (click on the link for more).

Unsexy: Studying for my history test on Friday.

Might do these sexy things for a while.

Taking risks

(Photo found here)

So, here we are. One more month has passed by and we're still here, reading blogs and writing on blogs and living our lives. And although the first month of the year was absolute crap for me in many different ways, I'm hoping that will change.

I always tell myself to be a bit more risky. I want to tell people what I think and not control what I want to say and swallow it. I want to wear more skirts and dresses. I want to wear tops without a bra on during the summer. I want to get this effing dentist-related situation over so I can feel confident with my smile again. I want to wear red lipstick. I want to feel good in a bikini. I want to just... go. I want to buy things I don't end up buying because I'm shy to wear them in public. I want to laugh at myself whenever something embarrassing happens to me. Albeit I already do that, I want to seem a bit more convincing.

I also want to be more responsible. I'm being irresponsible right now, I should be studying for both tests I'm having this week. Instead I'm here, writing on my blog. Wanting to read my book (I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife and it's absolutely lovely so far) instead of reading a textbook. I know I should just pick it up and explore the sadness of Stalinism and the Portuguese Dictatorial Regime. I don't want to. And I guess that's enough for me, not wanting to. But I can't be given the luxury of simply not wanting to.

And today I bought The Catcher In The Rye and The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas and I'm forcing myself not to devour them. Stalin, here I come.

Happy February! Tell me what you want to do and the risks you'd like to take. And what you're reading!

- Ana

PS: If you're a portuguese reader, please click here.

Helping Haiti Heal

(Photo found here)

The Internet and the people in it continue to surprise me. About a week ago I discovered The Harry Potter Alliance was going to create a project to support Haiti and help the haitian people by raising money online, through a livestream and the chance to win prizes. What was planned to take five hours took much more, and over $34,000 were raised in less than six. And $40,000 in 48 hours.

After noticing so many results and how particular "guests" (namely John and Hank Green, Maureen Johnson, members of the Harry Potter cast, etc.) caught so many people's attention, they decided to extend this project for one more week. The power of the Internet, the power of the Harry Potter fans and the power of Nerdfighters never fail to astound me. There are wonderful people in the world, willing to donate money from their own pocket to help people they've never seen in their entire lives and, probably, never will. People who want to contribute with, at least, $10. $10 is equivalent to more than ten rice packets here.

All in all, $66,000 (and counting) have been donated. This is equivalent to two jumbo planes full of supplies, directly going to Haiti. Doesn't that take your breath away? How a simple book can start a movement? How a book purely about love can create such a following and try to create a better world? It takes my breath away.

Donations are accepted until February 6th, and you can donate whatever the amount you wish. Click here if you'd like to make a small or big contribution. Let's make the haitian people smile again, we know we'd want help if such horror happened in our own country.