I have a new blog now. I want something private, this blog has become way too revealing. So if you know me and if I trust you, I'll give you the link.

BEDA's over for me.

Whenever I get envious I tear a little bit inside. I hate being envious. I hate feeling envy. It destroys me in a very uncomfortable way.

BEDA #14

Finally, Easter break! Which I'm guessing is the equivalent to Spring break. Slept for two hours when I got home, I've been so tired.

I know I'm always talking about the same person during these BEDA entries... I feel bad about that. But it's my way of blurting things out, things that I don't think I'm able to say to that person, be it for fear or for some other stupid reason.

I think I'm going to change my blog's domain again... I just don't think I talk about fashion and Paris that much over here, this is kind of my personal space. Or maybe I'll just create a new blog and add it to the bunch. Either way, I don't think I'll share the link with anyone, maybe just a few people. There are people who have access to this blog and I don't want them reading everything I write.

On another note, I will finally have Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I on DVD tomorrooow! So excited for that.

Bisou, bisou.

BEDA #12

Irrelevant day is irrelevant.

BEDA #11

I finished the work due tomorrow. I still have a little detail to finish, but... IT'S DONE. One more thing to do until Thursday and that's it! Easter break! I still don't know if I should study and do those three exams... three weeks of vacation really seems appealing, hehe. Oh well, no harm in trying.

So, there's this PERSON who READS my blog... tell me who you are! I am so curious. I'm not sure if I know you. Any who, I'm glad someone reads my blog :)

Bisou, bisou.

BEDA #10

Didn't post again. My posts will probably be shit until Friday.

Bisou, bisou.

BEDA #9

Busy as a bee! Thank goodness next week is my last week before Easter break, even though I have three exams to study for. I really wanted to bake for TSR, I loooove baking, but yeah. Next week.

Will try to be more interesting in future BEDA posts.

Take a look through my eyes, there's another place somewhere out there. You'll be amazed what you'll find if you look through my eyes.

Bisou, bisou.

BEDA #6

I'm sorry, I forgot to blog yesterday... but I don't care and I'm catching up. It's about writing this year, not about being strict with it. I'll write about something that happened to me yesterday.

When I finished high school, I knew I'd lose touch with a lot of people. I speak to five people who were from my school regularly, but not so much with the others. I get along often with another friend of mine who was in my class two years ago, so in total, six people. I talk to anyone who I happen to see on the street or somewhere else if I know them and it makes me really sad when I can feel how they don't want to talk to me or to my friends. I am the first person to say and admit that people grow apart, it's normal, but a simple "hi" isn't that much to ask and even a smile can't hurt.

The problem is when someone you were never really into starts to insist on talking to you when you clearly act like you don't want a friendship. You never really had a friendship, you were just classmates. This girl who was in my class has been trying to get in touch with me and I didn't bother answering until yesterday. It's not the first time it happened, so this time I decided to just come clean with her. I didn't want to offend her or hurt her, I honestly didn't. But since she didn't take the (countless) hints, I had to be sincere.

I was honest, but I hate the fact that when you're not honest with someone, you're a liar and fake; when you are honest, you're a bitch. That pisses me off. And I'd rather be an honest bitch than a liar or a fake.

I never said I didn't want to talk with her ever again, I just don't think there's nothing there between us that goes beyond high school. No subject of conversation, nothing in common. So why does she insist? I am genuinely surprised with all this situation.

It reminds me of that episode from Friends when Monica discovers that Phoebe had tried to "cut her out" in the past. When I saw it for the first time, I knew I did that. I've done it all my life and people have done it with me. People grow apart, it's a fact and it's normal. You can't always have friendships with every single person you've met. Either you don't have anything in common, you don't like them, you don't see them at all or you just don't want to. It's not a harsh way of thinking, it's what happens with everybody, everywhere.

Bisou, bisou.

BEDA #5

Too. Much. Work.

Need. To. Sleep.

I can never find interesting things to blog about... wonder why I don't post more often? Who on earth am I talking to, anyway? No one comments regularly, so I'm just blogging every day in April to myself.

Bisou, bisou.

BEDA #4

I have Friday by Rebecca Black stuck in my head. Ugh.

Today I realized I "only" have one project to hand in and one presentation to make and then I have three weeks off school! With three exams to do... but still pretty sweet. I guess. Why on earth did I fail those three subjects... I could have three weeks of actual holidays instead of studying my ass off. I hate myself.

Not much to blog about today. Excited to bake for the girls over at TSR on Saturday.

Bisou, bisou.

BEDA #2

You know those days when you go to bed, plan everything you want to do the next day and end up not doing a thing? And instead you finish a season of a TV show? Yeah, it was one of those days for me. And it's crazy, it's almost... academic suicide, regarding the fact that I have so much to do and so much I should be doing. Whatever.

Anyway, today was one of those Saturdays which I had no desire whatsoever to make a TSR video. I just feel like I used to put so much effort into a video (take a shower and put make up on, for one) and now I just... do it. I just talk and stick to our themes and that's that. I miss the effort, but I honestly don't have the time either. And I miss Ashley. I really miss Ashley. Not only do I miss seeing her face on camera, I miss talking to her and sometimes I'm afraid she won't make it here this Summer for whichever reason.

I really feel like going to the gym. Is this the feeling you get once you start? My body aches after one day and I really want to go on. I can't wait to actually see some results.

Also, I'm thinking of changing my blog's name. Or just creating a new one, I don't know... I feel like creating a blog where no one knows I'm the one who's writing. That would be nice, to just be one hundred percent honest and only show what I write to who I want.

As dear Hazel would say, tatty bye!

Bisou, bisou.

BEDA #1

Hi, there!

I decided I wouldn't be doing BEDA this year, but now I felt like it. Not sure how this is all going to go since I haven't had that much to write about. I have a workload of things to do for college (which I already hate) and today I started going to the gym, finally. I want to really get in shape and be a healthier person (and feel good with myself in a bikini for once in my life).

No themes this year, I don't really have the patience for it. This is my third year doing BEDA and... here we go.