For the past few months, whenever I think of the word "University" or generally the word "future", I feel like there's some kind of bag full of doubts and frightfulness that rips open inside of me. Living under these kinds of feelings and self-doubt is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone.
I want to study Journalism. Why am I studying Public Relations? I don't want to lose a semester or a year of my life because I chose the wrong course (even though I'd probably end up not getting into Journalism, anyway). I don't want to end this week actually confirming that this was a bad choice. I don't want to cry thinking that this won't take my anywhere in life.
I want to be as sure as other people are. I want to go somewhere where I can choose what I want to learn and feel welcomed as soon as I walk through the doors. I don't want to feel a wave of indecisiveness and fear and whatnot.
Most people say they don't want to know the future, they want everything to be a surprise because that's how it should be. But I sure as hell would like to peep through a peephole and have a general idea of what's waiting for me out there.
